hEAR mE rOCK

God created our bodies exactly the way a human should respond. Head over heart. Not that the heart is less important or less useful than the brain.. both are necessary for life. But when your emotions lead you… you end up out of order.

I find this most evident in my relationship with God. My emotions for that relationship are important. There is nothing like truly FEELING the love of the Father. There is nothing like the experience of the happiness of knowing I’m a chosen child of the King.

But when my emotions change (as they do SO often) I have to have the head knowledge of that relationship. When I don’t feel like God is in control, it’s important for me to KNOW that he is.So here’s what I feel…  I feel like I’m struggling. It’s almost like I can’t catch my breath. I feel alone. I feel passionate about what God has called me to do. I feel frustrated at the process at which my life changing. I feel so much love for a few people that I can hardly contain myself. I feel like the task in front of me is more than I can handle.

And here’s what I know… God is faithful. God  has a plan just for me. God has not forgotten about me. God has a love for me that I could not find anywhere else and that I can barely understand. I know that I’m forgiven. I know that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. God has provision for me spiritually, financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. I know that people change, but God is constant.

As a leader, it’s time I stop letting my heart go over my head. My head can’t forget my heart, but it has to be in control because my head is going to take me where I need to go next.

I’m daddy’s little girl, momma’s baby forever, a little sister who needs some protecting and Aunt Lindsay who doesn’t follow the rules. I’m a granddaughter trying to make her grandpa proud before he has to watch her from heaven. I’m an amigo, a biff and a Marjory Jane to some very special friends.  I am quite stubborn and incredibly honest. I’m tattooed. I’m not what’s normal. I’m a pusher of the limits. I’m a college graduate and a life experiencer. I’m a missionary, a challenger, an encourager and a preacher (sometimes from a stage). I’m a restaurant industry survivor. I’m a traveler by any means. I’m outgoing when I want to be. I’m trying to be an athlete. I’m passionate, and I’m calm. I’m a crier, but you’re not supposed to know. I’m a reader, and I’m a writer. I’m a thinker. I’m a go-getter. I’m a memory grabber and a moment enjoyer. I’m on a journey, and I’m finding my way home.

But most importantly….

I’m a daughter of God. I’m a chosen child of the king. I’m a follower of Jesus and a lover of the things he loves. I’m imperfect. I’m forgiven. I’m called, and I’m driven. I’m changing the world by changing myself. I’m reaching out to lift up those who think they’ve lost it all, and I’m a helper for those who can’t help themselves. I’m answering the call. I’m a servant, but I’m only mastered by one. I’m being poured out as quickly as I’m being filled. I’m a prayer. I’m questioning. I’m not always finding the answers. I’m loving the creation. I’m deserving of God’s best. I’m considering everything else a loss. I’m meeting him daily, and I’m learning to walk by faith.

I know who I am… do you?