Finally rested..
On Sunday, an issue from my past pushed things out of control.
I have always been really open about my struggle with alcohol and my partying past. But there has been more to my past that I’ve hidden. No one knew. I never thought I needed to share it because I thought had it under control. However, I discovered I never really dealt with the issue -I just suppressed it. I was ashamed. I felt completly crushed under the guilt of the addiction.
I wasn’t expecting this attack from my past. I had been knocked down and yesterday I didn’t feel like getting up. My mind was racing. I was praying, but I couldn’t find any relief.
Then I realized what God was trying to tell me. I kept this part of my past in the dark, but it was time to put it into light…
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9.
God called me out of darkness, and it was time for me to come out of the darkness completely. I was tired of battling alone, and I went to a friend. I let go of a secret I kept so hidden, and almost immediately, I felt relieved. I wasn’t ashamed. I was honest.
My last blog was about the process. This was part of MY process. God is working to purify me. Stripping down everything that keeps me from him. I needed to let God shine some light in my darkness. He can’t fix anything until we offer it up to him. It’s still a war. I only won this battle.
But I couldn’t help feeling victorious. Even though the war’s not over. This battle reminded me –I know who wins. The war was fought and won long before I was ever even thought of. It was won on a cross 2,000 years ago when Jesus Christ took on all the sin and shame for the world and fulfilled his ultimate purpose. Through the name of Jesus, I have been given all power and authority to conquer.
I sleep easy – because I know who wins.
